That’s it, my work here is done. After this, no more shoe reviews for me. If I get sent any more shoes, I’ll just be annoyed because I’ll feel obligated to try them, and that will cut into barefooting time or, in shoe-preferred situations, Vapor time. The Vapor Glove is all a shoe needs to be. I don’t mean “all” in the sense that it has a bunch of features like bells and whistles and what’s the latest thing out there now? Boost? No, by “all” I mean “that’s all?” Yes. That’s all.

If you squint, it looks like a bare foot with laces.

Flexy-bendy. So nice.

The Vapor’s competitive edge. Eesh, sorry, that was pretty bad.

A thin layer of rubber. That’s all. A thin layer of rubber to take the edge off of points, flexible enough that the foot can bend over and around the roots and rocks, instead of balancing over them on a stiff platform. The Merrell Vapor Glove is a trail running shoe. It is the best trail running shoe. My plan for the Umstead Marathon last weekend, and my backup plan, and the backup to my backup plan, all shared one tactic: race the singletrack easy. In the Vapor Gloves I couldn’t resist the temptation to maintain the momentum of the in-retrospect-too-fast first two miles. Finally, a shoe that felt right on the trails. Sure, as a result my legs retired before the race was done, but what fun that was.

/Umstead #3. Sure, over ten minutes past my goal, but a great trail run.

In my brain, I converse with myself a lot about trade-offs. I don’t believe anything comes without a price. If I run on trails barefoot, I usually enjoy myself but it’s a slow and exhausting experience. A stiff-soled shoe like the Trail Glove allows me to run with greater abandon and therefore faster, and they protect my feet very well from the potentially painful protrusions underfoot, but I never feel like I have any grip and I’m always twisting my ankle sliding off of roots and rocks. The Vapor Glove is thin enough that I can feel the shape of the ground, just without the unpleasant (but educational!) points. The tradeoff is a higher risk of bruises on the sole. I’ll take a bruise over a twisted ankle any day. Besides, bruises can be avoided by running gently, right?

I feel ya, root.

The difference between the road and the trail is mostly what the ground feels like. If the shoes I wear make me feel like I’m running on a road, I don’t feel like I’m really trail running (until I trip and/or twist an ankle). In the Vapors, there’s no doubt in my mind I’m on a trail.

I can run in them without socks, although my first outing in them were a cause for concern. I tied them too tight and bloodied my left big toe. Once I figured out the best lacing pattern for my feet, I’ve had no problems.

The best pattern for my feet. Don’t be a slave to lacing conventionality!

So far, they have been resistant to stink and hold up to regular cleaning quite nicely. I think because the upper is so light and ventilated, the stink struggles to grow. Only time will tell on this one.

Speaking of the upper, it’s made of some kind of slightly stretchy material that allows room for wider feet (especially with loose lacing). This is where, to me anyway, there’s the greatest room for innovation. The sole of the Vapor is perfect. Now I’d like to see some variety on the upper to accomodate different foot shapes and styles. Velcro might be neat, although I seem to be a lonely fan of the stuff. A casual style would be nice. So would a classic-looking leather running shoe, one that harkens back to the flappers and art deco.

A great looking shoe as is, of course. Look at that sweet nothingness of the sole!

So, there it is, my last shoe review. There’s no point for me to write them any more. It’s not in a shoemaker’s interest to send me shoes, because all I’d have to say about the latest pair of whatevers is “see how they are not the Vapor? That’s what’s wrong with them.” Kind of like my last string of reviews. I really do like running barefoot, and it’s a little absurd that I have this closet full of shoes that I’m never going to wear. Look, I suppose if a shoe company has a shoe they think rivals the Vapor and they want to send me a pair, sure, I’ll mention them. But most likely, I’ll just pass them on to my similar foot-sized friend Der Scott. Maybe he’ll review them.

I have no idea how my last three less-than-glowing reviews of their products were received by Merrell; I hope they were at least entertained and appreciated my candor. I like to think that maybe in some way my criticisms were helpful. Probably not, but weirder things have happened I suppose. From my perspective, I really appreciate the risk they’ve taken by listening to and applying the opinions and ideas of people who think shoes are pointless much/most of the time. I also appreciate their efforts to educate runners on gentle running form, and their initiatives to get people active and outside. Of course, I’m also really happy they made the Vapor Glove.

So here’s the question: is it really a barefoot running blog if there are no shoe reviews? We’ll find out. My traffic will certainly diminish, but that’s fine. It’s not like I was some kind of blogging powerhouse anyway.