Chocolate milk poetry compilation

Over at one of those MyTwitFace social media sites I’ve been writing a poem a day to spur some votes in my direction. Here’s what I’ve written so far:

Running fast or slow
The one thing that matters most
Drink chocolate milk

Here in spot eleven I sit
So close to ten I can see it
Eating my oats
Soliciting votes
Chocolate milk helps me stay fit.

(They get better, I swear)

I like chocolate milk
Yes I do
The train pulls into the station
Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug
After miles that flew
I drink chocolate milk
And so should you!

(No, really. They really do get better.)

A beverage so tasty and delicious
Healthy too, so nutritious
After a run I swig it down
So I can become a racer of world renown
But first, that marathon (I don’t mean to be crass):
Grandfather Mountain, I’m gonna kick your

(See? That one is better. What? No?)

A man said to the universe: “Sir, I exist!”
“However,” replied the universe,
“The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation.
Other than to tell you
Refuel with chocolate milk!”

(Part of the poem may have been stolen from Stephen Crane)

Now I’m tenth, and a contender
Not just another pretender
I could make a smoothie in a blender
Or play a Game with Ender
But if you’re looking for a body mender
Drink Chocolate Milk, no matter your gender!
(although smoothies are good, too)

I’m on the run
Before the sun
And when I’m done,
Chocolate milk.

No matter the speed
At the back or lead
Feed the need
Chocolate milk.

With heart rate higher
The body’s a pyre
Fan the fire
Chocolate milk.

(Ooh, intensity!)

I’m about to shower
After going long
Zapped of power
No longer strong

Lucky for me
I’ve got a solution
It’s liquid Chi
That I’m pushin’

So down the hatch
Down the gullet
It has no match
It’s good for your mullet

Chocolate milk
That’s what I say
Chocolate milk
Every day!

(I think that one is superb)

So dark, so alone
That unlucky number, 13
“If you’re on the 14th floor of a hotel, you know what floor you’re really on,”
Said Mitch Hedberg.
Here I languish, until

I pour a glass of chocolate milk!
Base politics give way
To the happiness of the here and now!

The poetry shall continue
Until morale improves.
The Angels have the police box.


I woke up this morning
What do I see?
I’m in eleventh!
You must have voted for me!

I shed some tears
Of joy that dwelled
Buried deep for years
Emotion witheld

Three more weeks
Then the poetry stops
Then we proclaim with our beaks,
“Chocolate Milk is tops!”

I should be the poet laureate if this Chocolate Milk gig doesn’t pan out.

Anyway, go vote for me because it would make for an interesting storyline for the blog.

Thunderstorms! One day left to give to GO FAR!

Looks like thunderstorms and low to mid 50 degrees for the race. So do I:

1. wear aquas with waterproof socks?
2. wear aquas with regular socks?
3. wear aquas with no socks?
4. wear aquas with a preemptive strategic application of Gorilla Glue?
5. go barefoot with a preemptive strategic application of Gorilla Glue?
6. go barefoot?

Just curious what you guys think. I’m not nervous or anything, just, you know, thought I’d give you guys something to write funny things about. But seriously, I’m not freaking out at all. Not a bit.

In totally unrelated news, there’s only one day left to give to GO FAR and be in the running (ha I kill me) for a picture drawn by yours truly. Your odds are good – the donators have been few but generous to a degree that almost – almost – restores my faith in humanity. You don’t have to give much. If you win, you could make millions selling it on ebay as a HarmoniousJosh Original.

OK, salmon teriyaki here we come. And I’m not concerned, either. About the weather, I mean. Just FYI. Not even thinking about it.

Jamoosh’s Prize

For predicting the closest Charleston finish time, Jamoosh gets an inkydisastered quote of his he left in the comments:

Scribbling is therapy.

I get the urge to work on my penmanship from time to time.

Anyway, this little expression passed through the ol’ firer of synapses during the race frequently. I like it because it was more accurate a prediction than his time-themed one. I did run, I did finish, and it was good.

Also, congrats Jamoosh on another successful marathon.