So I went two weeks without running because of a weird pain in my calfachilankle. The pain only occurred when running slowly. I had no issues with running fast, aside from the usual running fast stuff. Last week I started running again. How did it go, you no doubt are asking your internet delivery system of choice.
My answer would be hitchless, as in, without a hitch. Which is exactly what I predicted would be the case if my secret hypothesis was true. So what happened, you ask your little handheld universe.
I’ll tell you:
In a few years, we will discover how to travel through time, and I will have the opportunity to go for a jaunt. I will choose to go back to mid-April 2012, with the sole purpose of stopping myself from running the Owl’s Roost Rumble Half. The first time around, something awful must have happened. To stop me, I shot/will shoot my younger self with a futuristic blow dart that caused/will cause a pain akin to what one feels when overtaxing their aging bodies.
Since I was going to run Owl’s Roost barefoot, I was going to be slow. The pain only occurred when running slowly, as I’ve said before, so Future Me must have programmed/will program the Future Dart to abstain from interfering with the ol’ lung-wringing efforts. Thanks, Future Me!
I’m a barefoot runner and therefore immune to injury, therefore the Time Travel Blow Dart hypothesis is the only one that makes sense. You know I’m right, because I used the word “hypothesis” – twice now, in fact – and that’s a science word.
So how incredible is that? I’ve avoided unknowable tragedy, I’m feeling fine, and I might even be a little faster than before! Oh, and there’s the whole time travel thing in our near future, so that’s neat too, I guess. But whatevs, I’m running again!
I must owe the future me some money, because he keeps going back in time to club me in the knees with a baseball bat.
I have another theory. Future you has both time travel and injury transfer technology. He’s been back twice. Once to transfer an achillecankle injury (tm Der Scott Injury Technology, LLC) from someone else to you. And then again, to transfer that same achillecankle injury from you to me. Now that I know this, future you is gonna get knee capped by future me. So, watch out! Or better yet, don’t.
I’m happy to discover we will have the ability to time travel. I’m going to start reminding future me to start saving money so I can go back in time to deposit a large sum of a money in my bank account–the newest get rich quick scheme!
Glad to hear the injury’s gone.
And just so you know, because I’ve tried, your blog is terrible to read on my handheld Internet delivery device. I have to use the clunky laptop instead. Cheers!
Re blog, you’re right. Your blog looks great, however. Is it the theme, or is there some setting that makes it more readable?
It’s a combination of the theme and the tools available to you. Blogger blogs tend to provide a mobile counterpart to most of their standard themes, which really means the platform just strips all the themey things out to make it conducive to viewing on a mobile device.
Yeah, what Ash said. I didn’t do anything. It’s just Blogger doing its thing.
Future me just did a future google search for “calfachilankle” and finds that future Zem footwear will make millions from sales of their brand of compression socks called “calfachilankle compression socks”.