And the hits just keep on coming, and a CONTEST!
So I run a tough marathon, I take a week off. I’m all ready to start running again, then I get sick. No problem, it wouldn’t hurt to take another week off. Feeling better, I go for a hike in the woods and get attacked by ticks. Finding the idea of sweating into open oozing woulds unappealing to say the least (plus I was taking antihistamines), I took another week off. This morning I woke up, no coughing. The itchyness was tolerable, the wounds dry. “I’m going to take the dogs for a run,” I decided.
Figuring it would be easier taking one at a time, I started with Sunny (the dumb young one). Everything was going fine, Sunny running on my right side. Then… cat. To my left. I didn’t see it, but Sunny did. She darts in front of me, I accidentally kick her back leg as I trip. Snap! My third toe on my right foot is bent sideways at an improbable angle.
Seriously, world? Seriously? Seriously. I mean, it’s not a big deal; I’ll probably be good to start running again in a few days, but then what? An anvil falls on my head? Slip on a banana peel? Lose my pants in public? What?
How I wish for a boring summer of mindlessly logging miles. I’m supposed to be doing serious speedwork right now, smugly posting about how fast I’m getting. Instead? Sick, tick, and click (went the toe bone).
As far as barefoot ambassador-ing goes, I guess my setbacks don’t reflect too poorly on my shodless peers. Shoes wouldn’t have prevented my from getting sick. I was wearing shoes for the tick attack, but it might have been worse barefoot. Not on my feet, though; if the feet were exposed, the little evildoers probably would have scurried to the next shaded spot, which would be in my shorts. No thanks. A rigid shoe would have protected my toe this morning, and would have hurt Sunny instead of me, which at the moment doesn’t sound like a bad trade off.
So here’s the contest: post your prediction of what stupid thing will happen to me next. Make as many predictions as you want. If your prediction comes to fruition, I’ll mail you something arty. That’s a lose-lose scenario if there ever was one.
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Comments
It will be poo related. You’ll either get pooped on by a bird or trod in poo.
I think the universe is trying to tell you something — it’s time for you to live in a plastic bubble.
Poked in the eye with a stick! Or accidentally kick a brick! Or any number of things that rhyme with sick, tick and click. Cheers!
You will run through a patch of Crazy Glue, then accidentally step into shoes, thus being forced to run shod for the forseeable future.
I hope Jamoosh wins.
Russ: Entirely plausible. It gets real fun once the rabies sets in. Just imagine the blog posts! What fun!
Xenia: I’d welcome a poo stomp at this point. I’d be like, that’s all you got? Today is going to be a good day! Although it would be funny if I was running with some folks, they ask the inevitable poo question, and just as I say it’s easy to avoid so long as you’re scanning the ground, a bird drops one from above.
Jamoosh: What about sets of threes? That would give me six more incidents.
Viper: That leaves open a lot of distressing options.
kelly: If you win, I hope I’ll survive long enough to send you your prize.
ac: I was trying to provide constructive criticism. Limericks have rules. Ow, now my wrist is starting to hurt…
Shannon D: If that happened, I don’t think anyone would consider it out of the ordinary.
I saw the contest this morning, but I’m afraid I’m not clever and witty enough to think of a funny thing to happen. But besides that, I wish you great success and no more mishaps — unless they are bad things that make you better at what you do.
I think it would be really great to win some art, but I can only wish that nothing bad happens. Sorry to be so boring.
I think you will step on a pebble, which will cause your knee to bend, which will cause a sudden increase in tibial stress, which will result in a compound fracture…thus throwing shards of bone into your eyes… blinding you. Having fallen to the ground during all this… you will slowly roll into oncoming traffic. A tractor trailer will jack-knife and roll over luckily missing you; but one of the straps from the trailer will catch your leg and pull you back to your feet. The sudden rush of blood & adrenaline completely heals your tibia and you land back on your feet just as you regain your sight… and then you continue running.
Yup… that seems most likely to me. Bring on the art!!!
I must say that I can’t contribute. I don’t want to add to any jinxes and would be driven mad if something happened and I somehow predicted it so just send me something arty just cuz I would really like it 
I hear ya on the stupid crap happening. I am anemic and sidelined right in the middle of marathon training. So no goals for the fall marathon just finishing since I know I can at least do that. I cannot believe this summer is almost over. My son Jupiter only has 2 weeks of camp left and then we start to plan for school. It seems as if we were all just so sick of the snow like yesterday!!
Neil: I clean my ears with my own mascara applicator, thank you very much.
Frances: None of this is bad, at least in terms of fodder for a book or something someday. These are all low-grade annoyances in the grand scheme of things.
Steve: Man, I’m glad there was a happy ending. For a while I was like, dang, what did I do to Steve?
Angie: Did you get my telepathic message of sympathy? Sorry I neglected to write it down; anemia is no joke. Get yourself feeling better so you can resume kicking butt in the fall. Just be careful not to kick too hard, you might break a toe.
I’m positive that you will soon be attacked by a band of rabid foot worshipers, and that they will install you as their permanent foot god, replacing their old foot god who was bought off by an upstart minimalist shoe company.
Angie – your kids are still at summer camp? my kids already completed their first week of school. Unbelievable.
Josh – Now I feel bad, I really don’t want Nike to run you over.
Everybody – I’m watching “Dual Survival” on Discovery Channel. One of the survivalists, Cody, is running around the Norhtwest woods barefoot. Very Cool.
Hmm… impaled by HB pencil? Must be HB, #4 doesn’t count or maybe some bathroom faux pax due to Charlie’s Soap? Poo-related incident seems most likely though.
Attack by angry forest creature. Let’s go with a Raccoon.